Friday, December 18, 2015

18 December 2015

I really really really miss you... But when i think back the fact that u leave me a day after my dad passed away.. Really shows who you really are.. And yes.. You're not worth it..

Wednesday, December 16, 2015


Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Silver Necklace

I still remember the moment i got my upsr result back then in 2003.. I got 3A's.. It wasn't a flying colors result.. It wasn't a really good result.. Tapi abah surprised me with a silver necklace with white square crystal on it.. And that is how sweet abah is..oh god i miss him so much.. Al-Fatihah..

Sunday, November 15, 2015

16 days of sadness

It has been 16 days since abah left us..
Harini hari ahad 15 November 2015.. Selalunya waktu mcm ni dah bau nasi lemak abah.. Menusuk ke hidung bau sedap dia.. Abah memang bangun awal.. Pukul 5 6 pagi dah bangun dah.. Sekarang pukul 8.56 am.. Waktu mcm ni abah tengah menggoreng sambal ikan bilis kat dapur.. He is a family chef.. Memang abah pandai sangat masak.. Buat kek pun pernah.. Serba boleh betul.. Menukang, repair barang elektronik, memasak, mengemas, menghias, menjahit semua lah memang abah teror.. Sebab tu la mak sejak dua menjak ni asyik termenung teringatkan abah.. She feels so lucky to have abah as her husband.. X mengharap pada isteri seratus peratus.. susah nak cari lelaki macam abah.. Mungkin satu dalam sejuta? Mungkin x de pun lelaki lain yang macam abah..

Abah ano rindu abah.. Tp x pe.. Kan ano dah janji.. Ano sentiasa doakan abah.. Ano dah janji ano akan selalu sedekahkan alfatihah untuk abah kan? I will always keep my promise bah.. Always and forever...

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Zero to One Hundred

Playing the Game of Love
Posted on February 14, 2011 by Sandi Amorim

What’s this talk of a game?

Call me crazy, but I think love is a game.

And like all games, how you play makes all the difference.

Before we get into the “rules”, let me share a bit of my story and what changed my thoughts on love.

You see, my heart was broken once, long ago.

So very broken.

It felt irreparable and I believed that life would never be the same.

And it wouldn’t be the same. Ever.

How could it be?

No matter how hard you try to repair something, it can never be what it once was.

That’s not to say it can’t be better, but I never thought of it that way all those years ago.

I simply felt damaged. Broken beyond repair.

Jasmine Lamb says, “Most of us long for love, look out for love, worry we are too late for love, but not enough of us live love.”

Jasmine is so very right.

I’d decided I’d given it my best shot and I was no longer going to be a party to this thing called love. At the ripe old age of 30, I was done.

So I built up the wall, brick by brick, and protected my heart. If it had been the 16th century, I would have joined a nunnery.

Love however, was not done with me.

Love found its way back and managed to somehow get through the cracks. Slowly but surely, love worked its magic.

My heart and I were resuscitated.

You’ve probably had your heart broken too – it’s part of the human package. Few of us escape this predicament.

Playing the Game of Love
You’e got a choice in the game, because it seems to me, there are two ways to play:

1.  Protect  & Defend

Keeping your heart safe can be a full time job. You can’t let up for a minute, because the world is full of people and circumstances that will do damage. This way of playing the game is a 24/7 proposition.

I played this way for a very long time after the original break. I remember thinking, “I will NEVER be hurt like that again.

So I kept my heart wrapped up, hidden away and safe.

S A F E – a four letter word that kept my lizard brain happy.

And while this is a very valid way of playing the game, you’ll notice after awhile that safety is highly overrated!

There is another way to play though – return to the playing field.

“The only kind of heart to have is one that is broken. That’s how people get in.” – Michael Meade
2.  Risk & Play

Think back to when you were a child, how easy it was to love.

That capacity is still there, a part of you perhaps lying dormant, like an unused muscle that may have become flabby.

It’s still there though, I promise. Waiting for you to open yourself back up to the possibility of love.

After years of  surviving the safety my lizard brain so desperately craved, I launched myself back onto the playing field in the craziest of ways.

Like a light bulb going on, I had a sudden flash of knowing – the game of love was a numbers game, and as a self employed woman working from home, I simply wasn’t getting out enough. No longer interested in the bar scene, I had to try something new.

I called my game Zero to One Hundred, and decided if it really was a numbers game, somewhere in that hundred I would find my guy.

I threw myself wholeheartedly into the game.

Dating, dating, dating. Oy, more coffee dates and walks on the beach than I care to remember!

Like a roller coaster, there were many ups and downs, but I was committed and I was going to win this game, damn it!

The self-imposed nunnery had proven a really bad idea (are you surprised?) and I was ready to get back in the game.

I knew it would be a challenge, and I needed help to get through my fear.

I needed guidelines to keep me sane and in the game.

Lessons from the Game of Love
1.  Make it public

Suck up your courage and spread the word! I remember feeling vulnerable as I shared with my friends that I’d created this game and needed their help. But I also knew that if I went public, I’d keep at it. I was really committed to being in a great relationship, so I went public in a big way. Everybody knew!

The more people know what you’re up to, the more they can support you and keep you accountable.
2.  Ask for help

All my friends were recruited. I knew it wouldn’t all be fun and games and I’d need them to keep me on track. From cheering me on to providing shoulders to cry on, bringing tissues and treats to help me bounce back, my friends were unbelievable. I’ll tell you straight up, I would never have made it without them!

Give up your fear of looking cool and ask for help!
3.  Debrief

After every date, I’d debrief. I’d make note of what worked and what didn’t about the date, my behaviour, even my outfit!

Did I show up confidently, true to my self? Or did other, more fearful emotions get in the way?

This practice helped me learn – about myself and what I really wanted in a relationship.

Many of the things I thought I wanted at the beginning began to fall away as I got more in touch with my values and what was most important to me.

Notice how you play the game. Do you play full out or hang back in your comfort zone?
4.  Step back

I’d go through phases, becoming a bit obsessed with the game. I needed to take a break, and step back. I’d hang out with friends, book some pampering time and regroup.

I also spent time with my journal to remember and remind myself of what I really, really wanted. In the darkness of 4am as I lay awake burning up with longing…what was I willing to do to break free from my fear?

Remind yourself – it’s a game, and even athletes take breaks from their training.
5.  Be honest

Some days I didn’t want to tell the truth about the game, I didn’t want to own up to my role in it. It was just so much easier to blame the guys, then to look at my own issues about love.

I owned up to my arrogance and my righteousness. Some days so righteous, someone should have given me a pulpit!

I came clean about my fears, how terrified I was to be hurt again. I wasn’t sure I’d survive if that happened.

Through it all, I got real.

What you can’t be with owns you, tell the truth about what’s getting in your way.
6.  Humour wins

As you might imagine, the game of love got intense!

My ability to find the humour got me through time and again, and honestly? Some of the dates were hysterically funny.

I’d get home and call my BFF and within minutes we’d be laughing so hard we could hardly breathe.

There was the date who forgot to mention his licence had been revoked for a DUI. We pictured him picking me up on his 10 speed bike!

And the date who forgot to mention he was at least 10 years older than his photo. Did he really think I wouldn’t notice?

Life is funny, dating even more so. Laugh, learn, and move on!
7.  It’s NOT personal

If you think it’s about you, you’re screwed and thinking that way can lead you down a very slippery slope of judgment, self-doubt and self-recrimination.

What could I have done differently?
Was it something I said?
Was I too intense? Too smart? Not slim enough?
How the other person reacts says way more about them than anything you could make up about yourself. Be responsible for how you show up, but please do NOT make it personal. It’s so not.

Own your part, let go of the rest.
Zero to One Hundred – the game lasted longer than anticipated and quite frankly, I almost gave up numerous times.

But I’m not a quitter, and my heart had other plans. My yearning for a loving relationship was stronger than my desire to stay safe.

About 18 months after the game began, I met my guy, #54. We’re now married and a new game has begun.

But that’s another story.

You now have a choice…just as I did.

You can play it safe, your heart guarded within its walled fortress.


You can take a risk and let love in.

Ask your heart what it wants.

You might be surprised by its answer

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Butterless Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Buttercream decorated with KitKat and M&M


16th february birthday syasya, tapi kitorang saja nak surprise awal.. and we bake this cake for her early birthday surprise! here's the recipe.

Bahan-bahan ( saiz 20 cm )

2 biji telur
1 cawan minyak masak
1 cawan gula pasir
1 cawan gula perang

Bahan A
1 sudu kecil vanila
1 cawan susu segar perisa coklat
1/2 cawan air campur dgn 2 sudu kecil nescafe

Bahan B
2 sudu kecil sodium bicarbonate
1 sudu kecil baking powder
1/2 cawan serbuk koko
2 cawan tepung gandum


Pukul telur hingga kembang
Masukkan gula dan pukul lagi
Kemudian masukkan minyak masak
Ayak semua bahan B dan masukkan sedikit demi sedikit ke dalam telur tadi berselang seli dengan bahan A. Gaul sehingga sebati.
Bakar pada suhu 170 degree selama 1 jam atau sehingga masak

Actually i've uploaded the recipe back then, x ingat dah bila, here's the link Butterless Chocolate Cake

and for the chocolate buttercream

1 cawan butter (Buttercup brand)
3 sudu besar margarine (Brand Planta)
1 cawan coklat masakan (cairkan guna cara double boiler,kalau x tau google hehe, better guna brand yang bagus mcm Van Houten atau Hersheys untuk rasa yang lebih umph! guna dark chocolate ok, kalau guna yang cadbury punya chocolate tu manis menekak la jawabnya)
1 1/2 cawan gula icing (di ayak terlebih dahulu)
1 sudu teh esen vanilla

1. masukkan kedua-dua jenis butter ke dalam mixer, putar sampai sebati and creamy. texture dia cantik lembut berkrim.
2. then, masukkan esen vanilla. putar sebati.
masukkan coklat masakan yang dah dicair dan disejukkan ke room temperature. Putar sebati. (its important to ensure the chocolate is cooled to room temperature. kalau masuk panas-panas maka akan cair lah adunan butter anda tadi ya)
3. Masukkan gula icing yang telah di ayak dan putar lebih kurang 10 ke 15 minit atau sehingga gula tu tadi dissolve ke dalam butter tersebut. dan tada! siaplah chocolate buttercream tu.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Resepi Orange Cake Mudah!


Bahan-bahan ( loyang 9 inc )
  • 1 bji buah limau
  • 1 cawan minyak
  • 2 cawan gula halus
  • 3 biji telur
  • 2 cawan tepung gandum*
  • 1 sb baking powder* ( *diayak bersama )
  1. Cuci buah limau,potong dan buang biji dan urat putih di tengah2.Potong lagi buah limau kecil2 bersama kulitnya sekali.Masukkan kedalam blender bersama,minyak,gula dan telur dan kisar hingga halus. 
  2. Tuang bahan yang dikisar kedalam mangkuk dan masukkan campuran tepung sedikit2 sambil dikacau sebati. 
  3. Tuangkan adunan kedalam loyang yg beralas dan gris. 
  4. Bakar pd suhu 170C selama 40 min hingga 1 jam atau hingga masak. 

look at my orange cake.. moist and soft

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